Just under one hundred million is a conservative estimate of the number of adults whose lives are adversely affected by the alcohol or drug addiction of close relatives. Including children in the figures would add tens of millions more. The particular qualities of the experience of having to cope with excessive drinking or drug taking in the family, in combination, can make it a unique and highly stressful and disempowering experience. A programme of research over a number of years has 1) explored in detail the nature of affected family members’ experiences, and 2) developed and evaluated a method for helping affected family members in their own right. Work in Mexico, England, among indigenous Australians, and in different regions in Italy has suggested the existence of a common core of disempowered experience for family members, with some cross-cultural variations. Predominant cultural norms – individual, familial collective, or community collective – are amongst the factors that modify the core experience. A method of supporting affected family members – the 5-step method – has shown promise in a number of countries. Its emphasis is upon listening carefully to a family member’s story, providing relevant information, discussing coping dilemmas, and building social support. The method is flexible enough to be used in brief forms (including booklet and web forms), with anyone affected by or concerned about another person’s addiction, and it can be used in a wide variety of settings including primary care and other community settings. Examples will be given of the ways in which it can re-empower family members by building their confidence to cope effectively.